In today’s world, we have traded respect for relevance and love for judgment. We have entered a cold season where we would rather "cancel" someone than counsel them. We have moved from a culture of restoration to a culture of rejection. But how did we get here?
The Loss of Recognition: A Cultural Crisis
We live in a society that celebrates takedowns more than turnarounds. Today, a single mistake is often used to erase twenty years of loyalty. This is exactly what happened in the early church during the Donatist controversy.
Back then, a group called the Donatists believed that if a leader made a mistake under pressure, they were "poisoned" forever. They thought forgiveness was a sign of weakness. That same voice whispers in our churches today: “Why should we care for someone who has failed?”
A Bible Question to Trap Your Thoughts:
According to Matthew 18:21-22, how many times did Jesus tell Peter to forgive a brother?
The Answer: Seventy times seven. This means our grace must always be bigger than someone else's mistake. If you stop at the first mistake, are you following Jesus or the Donatists?
The King Who Forgot—and the Dogs Who Remembered
Let me tell you a story that reveals a hidden truth about our hearts. There was once a loyal servant who worked for a King for many years without a single error. One day, he made a tiny mistake: he put sugar instead of salt in the King’s food. The King was so angry that he sentenced the man to death.
The servant asked for ten days to stay with the palace dogs before his execution. He spent those days feeding them, washing them, and caring for them. When the day came and he was thrown into the pit, the dogs did not bite him. Instead, they licked his feet and wagged their tails.
The King was shocked. “Why didn't they eat you?” he asked.
The servant replied: “I served you for many years, and you condemned me for one mistake. These dogs knew me for only ten days, yet they remember my love.”
The Eye-Opening Truth: Why is it that animals can remember kindness better than humans can? When we forget years of service because of one "sugar instead of salt" moment, we are acting with less heart than a dog.
When Recognition Fades, Relationships Die
What happens when we stop recognizing the quiet sacrifices of people around us?
- The Silent Workers Disappear: The person who cleans the church or helps the poor is forgotten the moment they are late once.
- Restoration Turns into Rejection: We stop seeing a brother who needs help and start seeing a "problem" that needs to be thrown away.
- Our Culture Becomes Cruel: Love is supposed to cover faults, but today, we use our phones to expose them instead.
A Bible Question to Trap Your Thoughts:
In 1 Peter 4:8, what does the Bible say fervent charity (love) will do?
The Answer: It will "cover the multitude of sins." If your first instinct is to tell everyone about someone’s sin instead of covering it to help them heal, do you really have love in your heart?
A Real-Life Mirror: Jealousy in the Church
I remember a time in a church I attended in Lagos. A new convert joined us, and he was on fire for God! He prayed with power and served in every group.
But instead of being happy, many of us were secretly jealous. We were waiting for him to stumble so we could feel "better" than him. When he finally made a mistake, we felt justified in our judgment. But our Pastor was different. He didn’t shame the man. He gently helped him get back up. He taught us a great mystery: Value the person, not just their performance.
The Mirror Question: When a "star" in your church falls, do you feel a little bit happy inside? If you do, that is not holiness—it is the mystery of pride.
Where Did We Go Wrong?
We have replaced Value with Visibility. We only care about people if they are on stage or "seen." We have replaced Restoration with Rejection.
A Bible Question to Trap Your Thoughts:
What does Galatians 6:1 tell "spiritual" people to do when someone is caught in a fault?
The Answer: Restore them in a spirit of meekness, while watching yourself so you don't fall too. If you are "kicking" instead of "restoring," are you truly spiritual?
How to Restore Love and Value
To lead our society and churches back to a high moral level, we must do these things:
- Recognize People Personally: Don't just say "good job." Call them by name and tell them you see their heart.
- Celebrate the "Getting Up": Don't wait for people to be perfect. Celebrate when they try again after a fall.
- Restore Before You Reject: If someone stood by you when you were down, you must stand by them when they are down.
- Lead with Love, Not Control: A boss controls people; a leader loves people back to health.
Reflect: Who Needs You Today?
Take a moment to think. Who raised you? Who prayed for you when you were lost? Who served you when you had nothing? Have you called them to say thank you?
We are very good at criticizing people in public, but we must become experts at thanking them in private. Recognition breathes life back into a dying relationship.
The Final Truth: Love is not a reward for being perfect. Love is our responsibility to those who are imperfect. When we choose to restore and remember the good in people, we reclaim the heart of God.
It is time to love again. It is time to honor those who gave so much for us. Let us build a culture that values people—not their perfection.
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